saturday, june 1 i'm done. holding this report card in my hands, i can look past the grades. aided, yes, by the fact that they're hideous. but i can look past them nonetheless. the failures, the victories, the in-betweens. because i'm done.

whew.
ryan :: 6/1/2002 02:05:06 PM

thursday, may 30 i should write more often. i can't count the number of times i mentally shape something worth writing about, in the shower or eating breakfast or driving somewhere, anywhere. and then i sit down to write, and it's gone. not the writing, but the motivation. why write? for whose benefit? sometimes i feel selfish thinking that if i write, somebody will read, as if what i have to say has a precedence over whatever else that person is doing at the time. i'll argue with myself, stalemate and flick the thought away, like a cigarette, its momentary brilliance tumbling and exploding in a helpless shower of reddened ashes on pavement. sigh.

roroboy02: so this is our first day of summer...
Spankalicious55: yeah... it kinda sux so far
roroboy02: no kidding
Spankalicious55: yeah... summer's gonna suck if every day is like this
don't get me wrong, summer's great. but right now it's just so mellow...
ryan :: 5/30/2002 11:13:00 AM